Buzz kill

I really didn't know how else to title this post. One of the more upsetting things about this journey is how honest I am when I respond to people who congratulate me on my pregnancy. There are usually two ways I go about responding depending on who I am talking to.
If it is a complete stranger, I smile and say thank you. No issue there. I will most likely never see that person again and do not feel the need to fill them in on any details. But I am starting to see more familiar faces who I am not connected to through social media and they come up and rub my belly and congratulate me immediately and I feel that being honest and explaining our situation is the best for all involved. Today it happened and I could tell she wished she never brought it up. I said in my best "I am keeping it together" voice, "Thank you! We are so excited but we also know that she has a fatal defect and unfortunately won't live for very long. Still, we are loving and cherishing her every second we have her."

....

That usually makes me feel like a real buzz kill. But I do it to save myself from having to tell those same people after she is born and already gone. I don't know for certain, but I am guessing that after she is born I will be an emotional mess and I'd rather tell people now than when I am likely to explode from my hormones. Basically, I'm saving us all from my hormones... You're welcome.

I have pretty much mastered not crying every time I talk about it. It isn't that I don't want to cry, or that I feel ashamed of crying, it is that I don't want to be a mess. I do shed tears and honestly, they aren't all from being sad. Her life and this pregnancy are still very joyful for me. I don't feel burdened by our situation. I am learning so much from it. I am amazed at how strong my heart can be even under so much stress. I hope my children can take something away from this as well. I don't think anyone likes to suffer. I sure don't. But I am going to embrace it and take the things I learn from it and make something wonderful out of it.