Okay, okay...
I'm not going to let disappointment rule my life. To help me along this road I have been trying to find some time to focus on me. Of course I'd choose torture...
I've been running. Well, I call it running but it is actually a mixture of walking and running. I've been running 10 miles a week as a goal to start. There happens to be a pretty fun 5k happening right after my birthday so I'm looking forward to that. My favorite time to run is early morning just as the sun is rising. I love sunrises. I just don't usually have any desire to get up when the sun does but that is exactly what I've been doing on a few days a week lately.
It gives me time alone to reflect, recharge, and reassess my goals. I still want a squishy little baby but I am going to learn to be patient and content with all of the many beautiful things in my life right this very moment. I'm such a lucky girl and I certainly have plenty to celebrate!
That doesn't mean I won't feel terribly heartbroken. I guess what has frustrated me about this whole process is that I am healthy and nothing points to a real reason for not conceiving. So, I'm a damned medical mystery! I have been able to see my thyroid doctor and he has put me on a different medication regiment and he feels is should definitely help me. Another waiting game... Because waiting is my absolute favorite.
...
But onto new things! Holiday things! Music things! Photography things!
October came and went rather quickly. I was able to get behind my camera for a couple of photo shoots. Both went amazingly and I am finding that I am growing in my skills a ton after each session! Of course I am not the greatest photographer around and I don't claim to be, but I do have an eye and I do enjoy capturing simple moments. My first passion will always be music but photography is a close second. Both allow me to be creative and let off steam. And I'm pretty heavy on the steam lately so it is good I have these outlets.
The family is well. My kids are doing great in school and soccer just ended so we have our lives back. No more driving across town four or five days a week! And of course, we are all getting excited for the approaching Holiday season! Big family meals, desserts, reflecting over the year, and coming together to celebrate our blessings, big and small. A little bit of actual cold weather wouldn't hurt either (come on California!!!)
Well, there you have it. I've neglected this post long enough. I promise to try and update often. Hopefully with some fun pictures next time.
